Controlling the Contagious

As I waited anxiously for my coffee to be handed to me, middle afternoon on the third day of winter, I looked around. Sitting by the window on a high wooden stool inside a seemingly old fashioned cafe I couldn’t help but notice some things. The furniture and everything didn’t match and I had safely never seen anyone inside before in my life. The youngest staff member was probably 35. They sold candles and soap. Then I put my phone away, dropped my problems travelling behind my eyes and listened.

The busy cafe hummed with presence, the mere noises you would associate with a medium sized open space filled with people simply being…people. Conversing, not thinking, just talking and breathing, as if using this time to fill their day doing something, anything interesting at all that gets them out of the house. As I embraced my fly-on-the-wall state, I listened intently on various snippets of conversation that were loud enough to pickup. Two elderly women were aggressively discussing a surgery of one of the members, referencing the strenuous process of recovery and how terrible it was going. Another 30-something lady bickered to her younger friend in gym clothes whilst repeatedly moving her stroller back and forth, seemingly drifting between bickers and checking over her baby boy who seemed to be enjoying the view from his dreams. There was another lady waiting, seemingly distraught that her choice of beverage cost 50c more for soy milk, guaranteed to complain to the first person she sees after leaving the cafe (we all have one). Finally, there was a 30-something guy by himself, scrolling through an iPad and looking extremely curious; as if he had realised he was the only patron who was dining inside without someone to complain too opposite him.

And then there was me.

All these troubles, it’s crazy. I know we’re all selfish and have our own problems which we feel are more exciting and important than others, because they are our own. In our life story, we are the star, so our experiences trump others’ experience because we cannot feel someone else’s experience, but we sure felt our own and feel like telling everyone.

BUT,

Instead of talking about good things, we find it more appealing to talk about things that suck, as it’s maybe more entertaining, or it gets us sympathy and attention, or we’re venting. Which is cool, but fuck, look around at the faces next time you find yourself people watching- then wonder what message you’re sending? We all have problems. Some are more serious than others, I get that, and venting and confiding in others is important. We all know venting is like shaking a coke bottle and letting it explode. Sure it’s a release, but at the end of the day you have to deal/cleanup the mess you’re standing in. Or leave it forever and have a big ass stain on the floor that gets darker and darker the more you step on it. Clean it up you fool. Do you need to carry your problems into society with you and drop crumbs of them on anyone who gets too close? Maybe you have something happier to say? I encounter people all day everyday, and usually the average response to ‘how is your day?’ is ‘not bad, but a) the day isn’t over yet b) just had this happen…[insert trivial problem that isn’t a real problem]’. Man, what a bummer. I remember every nice person though, I walk out feeling energised, super positive and whistling.

Sometimes I just need to listen to the world and decide what noises I’m releasing, and sometimes it strikes a nerve. I was the old lady, I was the mum and I’ve definitely been the loner at the table judging everyone (just judged him again, sorry bro). But after that, I took my double-shot delicious nectar-of-the-gods in it’s cardboard cup to my car, stared at my phone screen and put it away. I changed my music from sadness of “The Smiths” to the upbeat of “The Drums” and it was a wake up x 2 (caffeine kick).

My sister has MS, and I guarantee you, if you walk into any room she’s sitting in she’ll always smile at you. She can be crazy, and she can bitch and goss about dumb things, but most of the time, she’s beaming and it’s contagious. She’s awesome to be around. Are you?

C.f