The Youniverse

I’m searching for another independent thought. An independent voice to speak back to me. Not something that waits, or plans with no regard for action.

Show me, don’t tell me.

I have this overarching guide that sits above my head. I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but it’s always there, and it shouts when I work. It’s always governed my thoughts, and when mixed with intuition, it let’s my whole being know when I’m close, and guides me in that direction. It’s a map to somewhere you’ve never been, or heard of, but you know when you get there. Only found with process, not plans. Starting out of focus, then slowly getting clearer before click.

My creative process is destruction. I start with something, and then I break it with ‘me’, and my desire for what I want it to feel like. It really makes no sense, and I’m sure everyone has that internal ‘focus’, hanging above them at all times like the sky. How the fuck do you know when to stop? How do you capture a feeling of ‘done‘? Which part to leave in, and which part to delete? There isn’t logic, and two people could start identical and finish miles apart. Jackson Pollock said “How do you know when you’ve finished making love?” In reply to someone asking him when he knew he was finished with a painting – probably the closest, or if you simplify it, it’s when you just know. Your body, mind, surroundings, universe whatever you believe in, all align. That’s the guide above you, and it’s driven to find things that you like. Maybe the feeling it gives you. Mine is strong, and until recently, I struggled to find it internally through my own design. I needed help.

So with that, I feel like I’m indebted to the world. I belong to the process of many other people who were able to teach me aspects, or images, or feelings.

Not because I’m superior, or in any way above anyone else (I’m not, neither are you). But because I’m here, and I can do things. Why wouldn’t I do that? I’ve loved what has come into my path simply by ‘trying’. The mixture of idea, vision, and then finally with time, the skill to accomplish it. I wouldn’t be feeling like this, if I didn’t know what not feeling like this was like. It’s a unique gift that comes when you invest time. I’m nowhere near where I will be, but for now I’m learning the the universal language of creating and using it to learn more from amazing people who speak it fluently. I’m starting to hold a conversation.

So, as I search to understand more worlds in the universe of creation, my thirst for where my mind goes to drink is almost unquenchable. Being able to finally make my ideas the way they look, and getting the satisfaction that comes with that (momentarily at least) has been a grateful revelation. I have to thank many great minds, the internet and at this moment, time in solitude, for helping me get here. I’m enjoying piling up the pieces and sharing – for nobody else, but because I want to, and I like it, and I made it, myself.

Put it out to the universe and you’ll find me doing the same, I’ll meet you there.

~~C.f~~

Rain-sequence