Hail Moments

The days in the car, contemplating if it’s worth it – it is. I came up with the email subject- Hail Mary – the longest shot with disproportionate outcomes. That’s me, man. Lottery tickets. Hope. You gotta try.

I really don’t like working for other people. Not for the usual reasons. I naively think I can do it better, or I just don’t care as much as you do – there’s no in-between. Not very pragmatic. I’m under my own spell.

The ethos I’ve had since 2020 is persistence & consistence.

I haven’t shared the results out loud much anymore, but it’s a governing arch that hangs above my head, guiding me when I question my purpose. Why? Because it’ll pan out. Huh? trust me.

My gut speaks fluently in purpose.

You’re doing it because it’s what grows you, dummy. Leave the nest. You hate yourself when you don’t try & you respect trying & failing more than not trying. It’s not rocket science.

I’ve never been so certain of myself & lost within my friends.

The era is defined by kids – a beautiful list of new beings that will clear out our accomplishments with their own – the seeds that grow. The milestones live by talking – something that we don’t even effectively accomplish as adults. Don’t mistake my selfishness for a lack of enthusiasm, I haven’t lost track of my own goals compared to a tiny human. I wasn’t raised within a house of praise, so on my own quest I’m building a foundation. I refuse to pass on the expectation.

Selfishly, I’ll focus on me. It seems so shallow to even discuss, but its my truth. I want kids, & they’ll be my world – I have so much love to give – I’m just aware of how much that love will cripple me. I haven’t finished setting up the landscape for my own blueprint yet. Society dictates Father Time, and I’m not immune – I look forward to that day when it comes.

For now, on the cusp of a great win, take a breath. No celebration. Get back to work. The milestones have shifted with the energy.

I’ll call my parents & share the news – salut.

The pursuit continues.

“fuck outside opinion & fear” – Jeff Buckley

C.f