The crazy week I’ve had seemed like it needed a recap, so here I go. Wednesday 8/6/2011, I landed on another players ankle playing mens basketball, rolled and heard 3 cracks, 38 seconds left to go in the game. Immense pain and the feeling of vulnerability, as nobody in that moment knows what you’re actually dealing with. Arrived at the hospital around 11pm, after driving up with dad. We don’t really talk a whole lot, but we had a good chat once I was admitted, and he calmed me down, with a very reassuring tone. I had to spend the first night in the Emergency ward, where everyone in a serious state is placed, as there was no beds for me to stay. Let me tell you this, you never appreciate your own bed more, ever, than when you are truly trapped in a jungle of screams and pain, with a curtain wall. Surgery was on the thursday, (a plate and 9 screws) and afterwards I was moved into a room with 3 older patients, with whom one immediately made an impact. His name was Robin Cornell, he was old, covered in bruises with a bloodied eye, but you wouldn’t know it from his calming voice. His presence in my room and general happiness opened my eyes to the world of pain people go through, and it answers the question why I’m taking this so well. Theres always somebody worse off than you, and how you deal with it is the rawest shape of character you can show. Anyways, I’m in bed, 2nd night at home, and thought I’d spill on the last few days of this adventure I had so I could mainly remember myself in a few weeks. Here’s to the road of recovery, and getting back. As Robin said, “They probably won’t let you play with crutches.”   C.f

So usually I can’t stand photos of couples kissing, or showing enormous amounts of affection, as social networks have just washed them up and they’ve lost all meaning and credibility. The only ones I do however enjoy, are old intimate photos, where I don’t know the parties involved. I’ve stumbled across a few that just ooze affection, enjoy this, it’s rare. C.f

Henri Cartier-Bresson

My Favourite – On a train in Romania, 1975

And finally one from Alfred Eisenstaedt

It truly amazes me how much outside opinion influences creative freedom. The world we live in can be so critical, and it can scare potential ideas back into conforming to what society dictates is ‘good’. It’s such a loose term. I wonder how many amazing things weren’t finished or released due to the fear of “they wouldn’t like this” or “I don’t think they will understand”. Everything is becoming so similar nowadays.

C.f

You can judge everything about someone in any situation, through their eyes. You can see lust, you can see confidence, and you can see pain, which directly relates to how people feel about themselves, how people feel about you and others, and how they react to moments and memories. ‘Everything’.

The further we distance ourselves from reality, the more we protect ourselves from getting hurt. It’s easy to fall back into rhythms after we try to get out of them,  and it’s usually inevitably going to happen. Just enjoy these moments before the reality of life wakes you up and shakes the harsh truth back into you, and takes it away, even if you think it’s not supposed to be like this. You can become that image you pictured for yourself, and you can be with whoever chooses to be with you, but sooner or later things catch up to you, and you find yourself where you were, and will always be, inside the cage of your own mind. I don’t care, or I choose not to, but one day I will, and I’ll change things for good. No routines, no mess, the final draft that remains the polished product. One day the image I believe won’t be a ‘moment’, it will be the routine.

C.f 

No more ‘love scar’.

Ever since i was a little kid, I’ve seen random people in the street or the car next to me, and imagined what there life was like. People I’ve never seen before, and I judge there entire life on these tiny windows I see them in, and create this elaborate mental story of what I depict there life is like, rich/poor/happy/sad, whatever it may be. I wonder if people do that to me, and I wonder what they see.

We can always expect things to just happen for us, but they never do. We all need to realise that things will happen if we make them happen, if you’re not happy- change it, and if you want someone, go for them. You know you want something if you try telling yourself you don’t want it.

I hate pathetic immature people who bully others without showing any remorse. Not even thinking the effect you’ll have on someone for the price of a laugh. I recently saw a picture of an overweight girl on facebook at a club, smiling with a friend for a photo. The photo had tags of other people on her image, as if it was a joke to be that person. Think for a fucking change, before you ruthlessly embarrass and hurt an innocent person who just wants to enjoy the same moments and events like you do. People can be so cruel.