Imagination

Glancing left to right whilst walking forward, not one set of eyes is caught from the faces above the coats. It feels oddly familiar; aimlessly walking down the dim lit city street where everyone keeps their eyes to themselves, the cold early hours of a winter morning. The air is still, the sound is footsteps and water drips on the cold pipes, surfaces, bricks and street lights; reminding you that at any moment the skies could open, even if to swallow you and steal you into the night without a trace. I’m afraid to encounter another soul, yet do not feel alone, occupied with my thoughts which become more distracting once the sun disappears, as if afraid of the light.
My footsteps bring me closer to the building on my right hand side, as I steer myself around others walking against me in the opposite direction. The road to my left is empty, as are the buildings across the street. Before I know, I’m beside the industrial concrete building, gazing up at it’s bare cold structure, watching a trail of smoke escape from behind it’s roof. I come up to a wooden edged window, and turn to face cold steel eyes, and the abyss behind them, not knowing if they are my own or someone else’s. I can’t help contemplating how all the non mad people are silently sleeping in normal lives, and here I stand outside, awake, looking at the glass shadow of a madman. I turn to walk away, shrugging off the mad mans eyes and assuring myself the moons light does that to everyone, comforting myself to believe something I know isn’t truth. Breathing puffs of dust into the air, I notice through the dull colours that every feature which normally lays without any beauty, has an enhanced feature of romance, trapped in the tragedy that it only becomes beautiful at a time when nobody is looking at it. Through this thought, something catches my eye on the other side of the street, making me instantly forget.

Between the moving coats that operate like machines on the sidewalk, a woman sits outside on a window sill, striking me like light filling through the cracks in the clouds. Her eyes are dark, but warm, deep with seduction that whatever you’re doing is intoxicating. Her dimples move as she changes her perfect mouth, draped in red lipstick whilst contemplating thoughts she herself is occupied with. Her long brown hair rests beside her warm face, a beauty that would exist in any light, time or setting. She looks down, as if searching for solutions in the concrete to destroy her problems, searching for something. She quickly looks up, as if she found the answer, catching my moon reflecting eyes in the process that are so large with curiosity and thought that the world is silenced and I can only hear my inner voice.

I want her comfort, I want to change my solitude and sit next to her, I want company between the coats. A million things race through me, giving me an energy to find the answers. Why is she out here? What is she thinking about? Why isn’t she sleeping safely, avoiding the mad dangerous creatures drifting through the night without a purpose?
She smiles, still staring into my eyes, as if attempting to answer my curiosity with a calm, warm gesture. I nod, and send a smile back, simply to let her know that I appreciate the warmth she sent my way.
She gestures for me to come over with her hand, not breaking eye contact with her brown eyes, as if seeing right into my thoughts and quenching my desire. I look both ways, intoxicated with the idea of being close to something so beautiful, wanting to protect it whilst losing my loneliness in the warmth. The road is clear, and without hesitation I step down off the sidewalk onto the road, and sink. Like a terrible fall into the abyss, the ground disappears at my touch, feeling like I stepped off a boat into the ocean rather than being swallowed whole by the city street. My heart drops, I lose her eyes as I fall out of sight, searching above me for anything to hold on to, but there is nothing. I begin to accept it, I’m slowly falling into the dark side of the night, air whisking past me, as if trapped inside a tornado of blur, wishing so desperately that I was back on the sidewalk.
I close my eyes, trying to hide from the fall, and let out a painful roar that seems to come from deep within my chest. The pain of the missed opportunity, knowing that I’m getting further away whilst feeling close to nothing like I’m in the middle of the ocean. I try to imagine I’m still on the sidewalk, or maybe the window sill; but it’s too late. I open my eyes, it’s calm, quiet, peaceful. I have a blanket on my chest, I’m not falling anymore. A pillow is under my thoughts and an illuminated set of numbers glows in the outline of an object in front of me.

01:17 AM.

I close my eyes, hoping to see the large brown eyes again, the warm presence, the beauty. Slowly, and effortlessly, my mind falls back into sleep.

Maybe the mad people sleep too, maybe the mad man isn’t you?

Maybe.